Asking for help
Posted by Lisa on February 5, 2007
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it – and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again… but also, she will never sit down on a cold one any more.
–Mark Twain
“Last night I asked for help, but the person couldn’t give it to me. Tonight I’m not going to ask because I’ll be refused.” Poor us! One person has rejected us, so now we’ve got the whole world rejecting us. We believe if one person lets us down, everyone else will too.
Such thinking, as negative as it is, can provide safety. If we believe we can’t trust anymore, then we won’t. But there won’t be any growth in this kind of safety. By condemning everyone, we won’t see those who want to help.
To find help we may have to ask several people. If a few people turn us away, we shouldn’t give up hope. There are many flowers in the field of life, but to pick the best, we need to look at them all.
If I get rejected it doesn’t mean I’m a bad person or no one can be trusted. It means I need to take another risk or maybe two.
Are you able to take that risk? Do you ask for help when you need help? Is it scary?
marj aka thriver said
Lisa: I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get over here. I’ve really been struggling to come out of a difficult, dissociative fog lately. I even missed organizing the January Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. But, it’s up and on the road again for February! Yay!
This is a great idea. It looks wonderful. I love all the thought-provoking quotes you’re using.
I can relate to asking for help with my recent dissociative challenges. I thought my husband would just freak out and not be able to acknowledge or deal with the fact that I seem to have some parts that take over sometimes. I was quite surprised at how validating and supportive he’s been–he didn’t recoil or turn away. I think when people do that it’s just out of their own fear and/or issues of their own that they’re just not ready to face. Keep up the great work here!
Danielle said
Lisa, I know you have been very busy lately, I sent you an email , the people that have been helping me with my case West Virginians Against Abuse are very impressed with you ! I asked if they had heard of you *(cause you know im proud of you lol) and YES they had. They are impressed with your writings and the entire site and had tried to contact you before , for your permission to use a part of something you had wrote! This post is so in sync with my life right now , asking for help is so hard when you cant trust . And trusting is almost inpossible when you have been abused, its something you have to learn to do . This website http://www.wvagainstabuse.org/ now has my case up , he will plead guilty on the 22 of feb, and we are asking people to write and email the judge to ask for maxium sentence.
So here I am asking for help!
Keep up the good work Lisa! Ive missed your input in AS.Hope school is going well.
Love ya and miss ya !
Danielle(DD)
Roma said
asking for help is very hard for me as I try to portray myself as being strong, truth is I am very timid on the inside and still very wounded not broken but wounded