Determination
Posted by Lisa on January 14, 2007
Diamonds are only chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs, you see.
– Malcolm Forbes
Determination is very important in our healing, without it, it is so easy to give up and sit in that same place for the rest of our lives.
So often it is difficult to know when to continue pushing forward and when to let go of a project or an idea. Healing forces us to decide what to continue working on. It also forces us to let go of certain ideas or hopes that may actually hold us back. For instance, letting go of the desire for the person who abused us to apologize, accept us, love us may be the one thing that allows us to progress in our own healing.
How has your determination paid off for you in your life? Have you been able to maintain determination in your healing? What ideas have you had to let go of to move forward in your healing?
Just for today, I will ask myself what results my determination has produced in my life and accept that some things take time.
Lisa said
Besides determination to heal, and live a happy, healthy, normal life, I’ve also had a determination to see sperm donor pay for his crimes in a court of justice.
After the last series of “straws” last summer, I decided I needed to let go of that idea, so that I could continue to move forward. I told myself I would let go of it, for now, but if something new came up, I would consider it.
I was at peace with that decision, and had truly let it go.
Recently, something new has come up. I have been thinking about trying it, but I also don’t want it to interfere with my progress, my moving forward.
I have to decide if it will, if it will take back over, or if I can do it and still move forward. Will it become an obsession? Or will it be the proverbial “icing”? If I don’t try it, will I beat myself up for not knowing if I could have done it or not in 10 years?
How much determination do I have? Am I determined to follow through with justice, or am I determined to let it go?
Linda Lew (Neighborhoods Watch) said
We wanted to say that pursuing justice can be a keystone or corner-stone; it becomes a monument of where it can be left behind. It will forever be on the record and you have the power of making the last word….it is taking it back. Because, it will be you and you alone that will have the choice to drop-it should you choose (because it becomes too much or whatever) But it will not be his supression or mandate that drops it. It is your power…. Regardless, he will have to answer to somebody outside of himself. The venue can bring a cathartic process for you. My survivor partner personally found it empowering….the evil of what happened can not be changed, but the voice of justice will be heard. The biggest victory is reclaiming the voice and proving that the perpetrator can never supress it.